The Anatomy of a Trans Am NUT
- A - Obligatory GTA cap, used to draw attention away from 2 days growth of beard from cleaning car before a car show.
- B - Car-related T-shirt, also the only article of clothing available since all other clothes are still in the wash due to all the time spent cleaning the car.
- C - T-Shirt prize, useful because it was free and all your money was spent on car maintenance and repair (yes, it's a third gen, remember?).
- D - badly scraped knees, from kneeling on hot asphalt in your driveway scrubbing at every $%?@*~ individual lace on those gold GTA wheels (see *I* below) in preparation for the car show.
- E - Stiff calf muscles from standing around your car in the hot sun for hours, occasionally polishing off the droplets of Armor All mist from the cars parked beside you.
- F - Bumper-mounted bug magnet, guaranteed to make you curse the fact that you didn't buy that BRA for the car BEFORE the show.
- G - Silly-looking piece of plastic that seems to make it all worthwhile. Aren't we car-nuts weird?
- H - Oh well, at least in a few hours, this engine will be roaring to life and we'll be back to driving the stupid car instead of just CLEANING it...
- I - GTA gold lace wheels, shod with tires that cost enough to make you wish you had gone into the tire business.
- J - Nooks and Crannies(tm), those surface anomalies that tend to collect waxy build-ups during the night that are guaranteed to only be seen once the car is parked in its spot at the car show (#$%&*&$%!!!).
You know that you are a sick person when:
your main criteria for buying a house was a double garage!
(too bad you didn't think of that '78 that would eventually pop up!)
And you know you're a car guy when you've got plenty of pictures of yourself as a kid sitting behind the wheel of various automobiles... here's me at the wheel of my dad's 1974 Impala 4-door (350 2Bbl, THM350...). That's my granddad on the left and my mom making sure I don't try to drive off with the car!